Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize