i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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