her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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