sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
