shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
