so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
