she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
