you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
