I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
