you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
