singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
