Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
