I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
