me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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