Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
