He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
