So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
