i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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