I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
