I want to have your abortion
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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