just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Please don't give away my fajitas
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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