ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I just shit out all my problems.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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