i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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