I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
