Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
