I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
