I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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