Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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