before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
