mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
