WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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