If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's shark week go big or go home
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
