i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
