Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize