mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
