in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
