Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
