what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
