bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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