I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
