i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
