It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
