you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
