the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
