My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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