Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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