I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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