You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
