He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
