And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
