Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
