Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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