So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
