Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
