Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
