why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
