I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
