Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
