All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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