The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want a musical about memes.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
