i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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