also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
