Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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