I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
