he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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