oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
